2009考研渐渐临近，大家对于考研作文的复习千万不可放松，现在就可以开始着手对大作文和小作文的复习了。对此我们特别开展你写作文名师修改的活动了，下面是几篇作文的习作修改。
第一篇：习作者（fujisiusuke）
we can find three points from the picture:
the （The first）one is that（there are） 1.1billion people smoke all over the world, which accounts for 20% of the total population (the whole number of our world is 5.8 billion). and the(The) second (point) is about the aftermath led by smoking: （there are）200 billion -dollars economic expense and 3 million lives losing per year. then(Thirdly), the last point,( is that ) (去掉)the output of tobaco（tobacco） around the word decreased from 14.364 billion pounds in 1994 to 14.2 billion pounds in 1995.
in(In) my opinion, the decreasing trend in tobaco's(tobacco) production will be lasting in future(will last for long此处用将来正在进行时不合适，将来进行时的特点：表示在将来某一时间正在进行的动作。).and (The) reasons are listed as following(as follows):
firstly(Firstly), as the development of medicine and other sciences related, the study on relationship between tobacco(tobacco) and many serious diseases has become deeper and deeper, which showed (show前后时态要一致)to (去to // show sb sth = show sth to sb)the undoubted pertinence. (Secondly)secondly, health plays an（a） more and more imprtant (important) role in our life, and the health conscious (health-conscious 作为形容词用意思为：注意健康的关注健康的 health awareness 健康意识)has been improved in recent years. more and more people want to gain healty body by getting rid of smoking.(More and more people are trying to get rid of smoking in order to keep healthy)
then (then 去掉) Last but not the least, the improvement of level of material life (life quality) supplies(enables) us with various way(access) to have fun or (as well as) reduce(reduces) the sress （stress）caused by work, life and study. smoking has not been the only choice. (Smoking is far from the only choice)
in （In）a word, what we pursue is (a) better life, so let us do our best to reduce the harmful behavior.
第二篇：习作者（vivy7）
Health is one of （the）perterbing(pertubable) questions(issues) among human beings(that people concerned about). Maybe the following thought-provoking picture can give us an answer: under the sunshine, a man with a basket of raw food on the left hand and a portfolio on the right is running gaily on the roadside, accompanied by a blissful dog; and the picture writes, （主谓搭配不当）"You can take exercises when lying,walking or sitting on a bus.The most vital problem is whether you are aware of it." （whether you have health awareness or not ）
What a simple but profound principle the picture has uttered（utters）! But how many of us can realize it? The man in the picture gets wholesome exercises for his health simply from the casual life. He understands that he doesn't have to set aside a period of time or even go to the special place to take exercises but he can get physical exercise whenever and wherever he wants. What we need is a normal attitude toward life and some minutes to relax (some leisure time to enjoy).
As far as I am concerned, I think the man has set an exellent(excellent)example for us to keep fit in such a quick-paced life. What we need is to take physical exercises seriously and think out more ordinary approaches to (take) care (of) our health. And I believe life will be more fabulous than ever before (去掉)if we take action from now on.
第三篇：习作者mingmeishang
The drawing depicts a common incident in our daily life. A man, who still lift (is lifting)the briefcase in his hand, is running back home after doing some shopping happily. We can also feel the happiness (happy) by see (seeing)the smille (smile) on his face and even the smile of the(as well as on the) little dog. The words under the picture shows (show)a lot to us. We should always bear this in mind: We can do exercises everywhere, including(including 去掉) in beds, on roads, buses and wherever.
Nowadays, with（due to） the rapid pace of our daily life, people always pursue (those)something that seems valueable(are the most important of all by) day and night at the cost of their healthy(health).There will often be some excuses such as no time or no money when we talked with them about doing some sports and keeping a good healthy. (keeping healthy healthy 形容词 // health 健康名词)However, in fact(去掉in fact) it is quite possible for us to exercise ourselves even in the office and using(by spending a) few minutes during(in the course of ) the hard work. The key is whether we have the sense of doing exercises and the persistence(perseverance) to do it day by day.
As the saying goes that(that 去掉): Health is the basis of struggles（for success）. So, stop complaining(complaints such as) the shortage of time, money or other bad conditions(disadvantages). What you want to do （should do ）is standing up from your seats, stretching your body on the bus, waking back home and such simple things(and other simple movements). Then you should (would) keep healthy, and perhaps these relax exercises would help you finish your job more efficiently.
第四篇：习作者（Wolkebang）
We can see from the picture that a （an）industrious teacher, with his left hand holding a steamed bread, is making correction for(correcting) his students' (papers). To our surprise, the man is extremely skinny and aged(去掉),(and probably in bad health condition), which can be easily explained by(inferred from) the simple food, bottles of medicine, and poor living environment. Moreover, his wife, holding their little son(with her son in arms), (is)staring at her husband helplessly. (It) implies that the whole family （is） living on the man's job.(the man might be the breadwinner of the family)
One can not help but be moved by the drawing (scene). Just as the picture shows, the teacher dedicating(dedicates) himself to the education, will （can）(while they are not able to) afford the expense of the family. It discloses(discloses) a prevalent phenomenon that ememrged （emerged） from the beginning of economy booming. The one who will (can)not make big money is ignored by socirty.(society) Consequently the teachers are not highly respected (not respected and paid as they deserved )and have to struggle for their survival (living).
The situation is rather depressing because teachers in fact contribute greatly to our country's development. , and（去掉）it（It） is largely owing to their painstaking efforts that pave the way for (our) country's future. To solve this problem, I think there should be a thriving social trend of showing respect to(toward) knowledge and teachers, and(especially) those who endeavor to teach our offsprings (offspring) should be rewarded with good living and working conditions.
第五篇：
Directions:
You want to contribute to Project Hope by offering financial aid to a child in a remote area. Write a letter to the department concerned, asking them to help find a candidate. You should specify what kind of child you want to help and how you will carry out your plan.
You should write about 100 words on ANSWER SHEET 2.
Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use "Li Ming" instead.
Do not write the address.
Dear sir or madam,
I am a gratuated student form the university(university graduate of) this year. I am writing(write) this letter with the(a) purpose of seeking for a little girl who cannot afford the tuition. And it will be my pleasure for me (去掉for me)to give a hand to make her have the (give her the) opportunity(opportunity) of getting(去掉getting) education.
Actually, i(I) also get help from(used to be helped by) a warm-hearted man when i(I) was just a senior student and had no chance to obtain further education because of poverty. I think the best way to express my gratitude is to exert myself helping the others (repay the society by helping others).
So i(I) hope you can give a favor to(去掉) find such a girl who live (is living )n a devious village（poverty-stricken areas）. And i will post her three hundred yuan per month as a cost Of (daily) living. (I will send her three hundred yuan per month for her living.) Thank you very much and looking forward to your reply.
Yours Sincerely,
Li Ming
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