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专项高分突破:名师帮你修改考研英语作

发布时间: 2008-11-21 14:16:13 作者: dw1209

2009考研渐渐临近,大家对于考研作文的复习千万不可放松,现在就可以开始着手对大作文和小作文的复习了。对此我们特别开展你写作文名师修改的活动了,下面是几篇作文的习作修改。

题目一:You have just come back from Canada and found a music CD in your luggage that you forgot to return to Bob, your landlord there. Write him a letter to
1) make an apology, and
2) suggest a solution.
第一篇(jmwang1982
Directions:

You should write about 100 words on ANSWER SHEET 2. Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use "Li Ming" instead. Do not write the address. (10 points)

)Dear Bob,
  I’m writing the letter to tell (you) that I brought your music CD with me which I borrowed from you last Sunday. I feel sorry about it.
  (ButPlease don’t worry. I have got a solution to the problem. I want to post it to you by air express, because I think it is the fastest and safest (way). Do you have any other perfect(better) suggestions? Please tell me as soon as possible.
  I’m looking forward to your reply and wish you all the best.
Your sincerely,
Li Ming

Sara点评:文章结构比较完整,基本覆盖了题目中要求的得分点,但要注意连接词在文中的应用!

第二篇(cbn)

Dear Bob:
  I have come back to china,thanks for your care(during my visit) in Canada.However(Nevertheless), I have to say sorry to you,(that)I fotgot returning(to return) your CD.Just now I fonund it in my luggage. think that I can send the CD to you ,if you want it immediately.Or if you don't mind,I know you will come to China on Oct.,then I can return it to you at that timeI will return it to you when you come to china on oct .At the same time I can introduct(introduct 为名词) Beijing for you(I can lead you to visit beijing ).I need(am looking forward to) your reply.
  I suggest
  Anyway,please let me say thanks and sorry again(I want to say thank you and sorry again ).Waiting for you letter.
Liming
Sara点评:forget to do sth 忘记要去做某事(还没有做) forget doing sth 忘记已经做过某事(已经做过)注意定语从句的应用

题目二:

Directions:

Two months ago you got a job as an editor for the magazine Design & Fashion. But now you find that the work is not what you expected. You decide to quit. Write a letter to your boss, Mr. Wang, telling him your decision, and stating your reason(s).

You should write about 100 words on ANSWER SHEET 2.

Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use “Li Ming” instead.Do not write the address.

第三篇(Just001)

  Dear Mr. Wang, I am writing in order to inform you of my resignation from current position titleI am writing lwtter to say sorry that I decide to quit my job which is not my expected . My last day of work will be effective(lawful) resignation date. I signed an employment contract with New Company.

  I would like to express my appreciation for your excellent leadership and counsel during the duration of(my) stay at Company Name. I have learned a lot about(\) skills you have learned(改成from you). These skills will be of great value to me in my(future) career.

  I have been fortunate it’s lucky to be employed by Name of Company, I have learned that putting the customer first is of vital importance in today's competitive environment. Please acknowledge this letter of resignation and I will do my utmost(best) to finish the outstanding projects and for(with) a smooth hand over.

Sincerely,

Li Ming

Sara点评:避免中式英语的应用,辞职信的语言使用要委婉,对辞职原因的描写不够恰当。

第四篇(wolkebang)Dear Mr. Wang,

  I am writing to inform you about my decision to resign from your company. Though I have(\) enjoyed(my) working with you and other colleagues in the company, (still)there are a few reasons that force me to give up my current work(job).

  First, after two monthsduring the two months, I do feel that it is not easy for me to get used to the extra work and night shift. Second, the salary has proven(is prooved to be )much lower than you originally promised, and I have a large family to support. Last, what I have learned in the university cannot meet the requirement of being an editor.

  I appreciate the plenty of help and encouragement from you constantly, and I feel terribly sorry for any inconvenience thus(I have) caused. I promise that I will stay through the next month to help you find a replacement for my position.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

Sara点评:文章结构完整,辞职原因明确且有说服力。注意被动语态的应用和时态的前后一致。

第五篇:题目三:You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why? I am a loyal music listener, but maybe not a good singer. I listen to(have heard) a great deal of popular music. It is hard to say which song is my favorite right now.

  People often cho(o)se those songs which(that) they think they can best perform, not just the ones they like. I have never been in a talent show. But I have seen Super-Female-Voice(a talent show) which is very famous in China. One day I saw the competition, a critic said to a group that they must notdon’t know what ismusic. The critic said that singing is not simply(that) one sang(sing) one sentence and the other singer sang(sing) the following, or just singing(sing) the song worked as(by) reciting a paper, paragraph by paragraph. The critic also said that they must not(\) know what the song was really about. So I think it is more than just singing the right lyrics and in tune, but also that one should understand the meaning of the song and express it ,and learn to control the tempo and intonation.

  So I think I would choose the song-- “God is a girl.” It is not a religious song. Because(after) I have(\) researched(ing) the song on the BaiKe in BaiDu websites(like Wikipedia abroad), I find that it has a special background story. A girl in the band has(had) a serious disease and need(s) someone to contribute a kidney to prolong her life. A boy wants(ed) to donate his, but the doctors do(did) not agree because the doctors are(were) afraid of happening(of) rejection phenomenon. During this time the boy came along with the girl, and he wrote out this song which was found after he died as well as a testment. The doctor followed the testment , carried out his kidney and performed the operation. After the operation the girl dressed wedding dress at the boy’s grave ,then she faint and never opened her eyes. Later, I heard(that) this story is(was) not true as none of the group members is(was) dead. And the lyrics is(was) not easy to understand for me and I can’t(couldn’t) see too much that the story have connection with the lyrics.

  In fact, when I listen to music I seldom treat the lyrics seriously, usually just the melody. Many pop songs are euphonious. This song is the same as a Chinese pop song, and many people in China know the melody of Chinese version. Then I think maybe I would choose “Cinderella,” a song in Play Band albums. A little girl she(who) listened to many story(stories) that her mother told her, all about a sad Princess. So she did not want be any of them. She wanted to be just who she was. She did not want anyone set(to restrict) her free and she didn’t want to be distressed about her life. She hoped she would be happy when she grew up. She hoped she could be equal to the person she loved and that they would respect each other. She could overcome her own difficulty, and she wanted to be protected by herself .This song is not only sung by a Sweden group Play, but sung by a Thailand singer Tata also then. Which(The) version Chinese most family(familiar) with is sung by Taiwan group SHE. They have(are) my favorite singers. And they are very successful and popular, but I need not look(don’t want to be) like them. Though success is very important, I don't want people(to) think the song is the same old(old rough) thing. Maybe I am not the best of the best for this show. Though this song might not allow me to win the champion, that is not strange. After all I am not naturally musical. But I will help myself get through difficulties if I still have the potential and still have a goal. I will do my best preparing the show until I can make it.

  Finally, I hope the song would be the one I write so that I could tell my own story.

Sara点评:文章结构清晰,内容充实,要注意个别相近词的区别和应用!

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