2009考研渐渐临近，大家对于考研作文的复习千万不可放松，现在就可以开始着手对大作文和小作文的复习了。对此我们特别开展你写作文名师修改的活动了，下面是几篇作文的习作修改。
第一篇（mingmeishang）
As can be seen from the cartoons, different students may have totally contrary(different) attitudes on how to spend their days in university. The boy student in the first picture indulges himself into computer games, who (and) have(has) already forgot his own goal of further education. Whereas, the girl student in another one(second picture) almost buries herself in a large pile of books, Who(and she) is getting prepared(busy preparing) for her future.
As we all known(know), one should exert oneself(at large in) obtainning (obtaining) the opportunity of further education in university. After the fierce competition(in college entrance examination), some students would believe they are carefree(safe) here. They stop fighting for their dream(s) and relax themselves(去掉) completely. What's more, some(去掉) others would like to work hard at first and even buy a computer for more imformation（information）, which, in the end, is used to playing(play) games rather than learning(learn).
However(So), we should realize the fact that the time in university shoud (should) be made good use of to get prepared for future. (We should) Equip(equip) ourselves with enough knowledge so that we will not lose our head when confronted with some obstacles. We should always bear this in mind: opportunity is only from(for) the prepare(d) mind. Therefore, come on and strive towards our dreams.
Sara点评：14分！文章结构比较完整，但是要注意非限定性定语从句以及连接词的运用。细节决定成败，相信你能做得更好！加油！祝您09考研成功！
第二篇（giuxiu_cxw）
2006年真题
Directions:
You want to contribute to Project Hope by offering financial aid to a child in a remote area. Write a letter to the department concerned, asking them to help find a candidate. You should specify what kind of child you want to help and how you will carry out your plan.
You should write about 100 words on ANSWER SHEET 2.
Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use "Li Ming" instead.
Do not write the address.
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am writing this letter for some requests. I am an(a) senior manager working in shanghai(Shanghai), and I have learnt from the offical(official) website that there are some rules(necessary qualities) (required) for being voleenters(a voleenter),such as married, more than 20000 yuan's month earning with a stand career,(.) I think I am completely complying for(with) the above(requests).
It would be very thankful if the department could choose a candidate as follow(s),(:) living in s(S)anxi, 10-18 years old, having at least 2 brothers or sisters. I will be(\) support him or her until finishing the universtity ( university) studying(\), including(include) (and cover) all the reasonable expense(s).
If there is any(some) relative informtion (information), please contace(contact) me ,(.)my(My phone) number is 00000.
Thanks very much
Sincerely yours,
Liming
Sara点评：6分！注意动词的应用和个别词的书写！如果不能确保单词正确，建议用其他单词替代。希望多熟悉动名词，动词原形的区别与联系。考研时间越来越近，考研英语项目组建议您抓紧时间，多多练习，加油！
第三篇（月亮平凡）
As is suggested by the picture (,) a man is walking and singing happily with a basket in his left hand and a briefcase in his right, while his dog is also running happily (along) with him. As is suggested in the picture,(It can be easily drawn from the picture that) the man must(can) be excesing(exercising like) by waving the basket and the briefcse(briefcase) together wherever and whenever you can excise(\) if you want.
The picture is thought-provoking in that it endeavors to convince its audience(reader) that wherever and whenever(\) you can excise if you want(regardless of place and time). Nowdays (Nowadays), more and more people are working in the office and engaging in brain action (activity), as a result, most of them are lack of phiscal(phisycal) movement which add to their unhealthness (poor health). Some of them argue that they are so busy that they can't even squeenze (squeeze) time out to do excises in gym,(.) (But) but just as the picture depicts, if you would like to, you can excese(do it) when you are walking on the road, sitting on a bus, or even laying on the bed, which(all) depends on wheather (whether) you have a consciousness of excise(exercise).
I reckon that the consiousness(consciousness) of keeping healthy(exercising) is impotant (important) to both the individual and the socialty(society). On the individual level(part) it can impove (improve) your quality of life like the man in the picture with good health and mood. On the social level(aspect) it can contribute to a harmonious society.
Sara点评：16分，文章整个结构和单词的运用都很到位，只要稍稍注意个别相近词的区别和单词的书写。上两篇作文中都出现了单词拼写错误的现象，恩波老师提醒各位考生：没有把握写正确的单词，一定要慎用，以免给阅卷老师留下不好的印象，造成判分过低。
第四篇（showo）
Directions
You want to study at a certain foreign university. Write a letter to ask about the situation there as regards what qualifications one needs for acceptance, fees and possible scholarships, and accommodation.
You should write about 100 words on ANSWER SHEET 2. Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use "Li Ming" instead. Do not write the address.
Distinguished(Honorable) Sir:
My name is Li Ming. I am a college student in China. This year is my senior year (I am a senior) and I decide to pursue a post-graduate education(study) abroad. I got the information of your esteemed university from website, from which I carefully studied the(\) your splendid history and your strength in various subjects(achievements in various fields). All of that appeals to me (It appeals to me) a lot, so,(\) I am writing this letter in the hope of knowing your esteemed school better.
Basically, I have three inquiries(questions). The first goes to(is) the qualifications needed for acceptance. I learnt from your homepage that your esteemed university admits the most qualified students worldwide only. So, (\) could you share me some concrete qualification in this respect? My second question is for(about) the tuition and scholarship. I would like to know the yearly tuition and the scholarship(available), and the rules and regulations in this areas. Beyond(Besides) the above two aspects, I am quite interested in the accommodation situation(\) there. Do you provide the domitory (dormitory) for the students from foreign countries? And how(what) about the charges of the accommodations(accommodation)? What is more, I will be highly grateful to you if you can provide me more detail informaiton (information) of the domitory (dormitory) there.
I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible!
Best regards!
Yours most sincerely
Li Ming
Sara点评：7分，注意单词的拼写和连接词的应用！09考研冲刺阶段推出在线批改作文，真是个不错的Idea！希望你能抓住这个机会，多练笔，和老师一起提高自己的写作水平！祝你09考研成功！
第五篇（ ChubbyKoala）
Directions
You want to contribute to Project Hope by offering financial aid to a child in a remote area. Write a letter to the department concerned, asking them to help find a candidate. You should specify what kind of child you want to help and how you will carry out your plan.
Write your letter with no less than 100 words. Write it on ANSWER SHEET 2.
Do not sign your name at the end of the letter; use "Li Ming" instead. You do not need to write the address.
To Whom It Will Concern:
I saw the Project Hope Ads on the newspaper, and want to make a contribution to whom he/she(\) needs it badly(in urgent needs).
I hope you (can) choose me(\) a candidate in a remote area whom(who) can not offer(afford) his/her education fees because of poverty. The candidate should be below age(\) 13, and his/her histosic(al) study records could prove he/she will be(him or her) a good student in the future. I will support(afford) all his(/her) education fees and the cost(everyday expenses) in school until he(/she) finish his/her(\) high school,(.)if he/she gets the oppotunity (opportunity) to go to college,i(I) will support it go(\) on(I will keep on affording the college tuition).
Looking forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
Li Ming
Sara点评：7分，文章逻辑很完整，基本包含了各项内容！精彩度方面略有欠缺。如果能写出几个精彩的长短句，一定可以获得阅卷老师的加分。老师总结了不少应试中可以加分的金句子，有时间可以参考一下。
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