14514 enjoyment

　　TOEFL Independent Writing Task

　　Essay Question: Too Much Time On Personal Enjoyment

　　Example Answer by 谢振礼 Jeenn Lee Hsieh

　　ielts360toefl@hotmail.com

　　ielts360toefl@163.com

　　TOEFL Essay Topic:

　　Real Topic:

　　>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "Nowadays, people spend too much time on personal enjoyment--doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do." Use specific reasons and examples or details (based on your knowledge or experience) to support your answer. (from TOEFL Essay Topic 2012)

　　Attention: Different Topic:

　　>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing." Use specific reasons and examples or details (based on your knowledge or experience) to support your answer. (from TOEFL TWE List of 185 Topics)

　　TOEFL Example Essay (Jeenn Lee Hsieh):

　　The debate on the choice of doing things you like to do or that of doing things you should do should not be a black-white one. It is because life's happiness is partly to be found where co-exist both time for responsibility and time for enjoyment. Now, ask yourself: "Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets you in the way of your happiness; and, if you are feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?"

　　On the one hand, doing things you should do is an evidence of responsibility in life, no matter whether or not you enjoy doing them. Usually, when you have a sense of duty, work is not your punishment; rather, it is your reward, if not necessarily always your pleasure. This means that sometimes you have things that you hate to do, but need to do anyway because you care. At this point, you would not agree with some people who spend too much time on personal enjoyment--doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Also, you must realize that life is neither all play and no work, nor on the contrary. That said, it is appropriate to add that, to make sense of happiness in life, you ought to strike a balance between doing things you love to do and doing things you love to hate.

　　On the other hand, nor would you agree with some people who spend way too much time working, hence inevitably getting bored and feeling unhappy. To get out of this kind of boredom and feel a desirable level of happiness, they need a "comfort activity" or personal enjoyment, as if it were a willing suspension of responsibility. Without a doubt, working people deserve to rest by taking a break for personal enjoyment in various ways--reading books, watching TV, going to the cinema, surfing on the Internet, chatting on smartphones, shopping in the malls, going to places, doing physical exercise, playing games, fooling around with peers, or doing other things that provide pleasure. So, it is important not to allow your sense of responsibility to prevent you from enjoying yourself from time to time. Otherwise, you would have no rest and no pleasure for leisure activities. And, as you may understand it, only those who do things they should do deserve the happiness of spending time on personal enjoyment.

　　In conclusion, the question is not so much whether people nowadays spend too much time on personal enjoyment as whether they can tell play from work, or pleasure from responsibility. In pursuit of happiness in life, doing things people love to do is as valuable as doing things they should do. In the end, you may notice that the argument does not focus on black or white, but on the grey area. (Essay created by Jeenn Lee Hsieh ielts360toefl@hotmail.com pigai zuowen)

　　Notes from Jeenn Lee Hsieh:

　　>Online Writing Lab. 猫头鹰在线写作实验室应用【隐形模板】写范文。模板是死板的作文布局模式，不断习作久而久之则心眼领悟得到，肉眼却看不到模板。成功的托福作文或雅思作文必须先有成功的引言(Introduction)作为圆形心图的开头.

　　随着引言中主题thesis的焦点focus而发展signposts A/B，到了中体(Body Paragraph A+Body Paragraph B)则针对焦点而提出论证，支持主题。

　　结论(Conclusion)是引言的倒影，等于重复引言的要义，千万不要搞什么新点子，也不再论证。

　　Introduction: Say what you are going to say.

　　Body Paragraphs A/B: Say it.

　　Conclusion: Say what you have said.

　　所谓起中有合，合中有起，头尾显然必须前呼后应。

　　开头三句话：申论主题，集中焦点，话分两头。结尾三句话：二合为一，还原焦点，重申主题。支持主题的中体要切题(relevant)，也就是要针对焦点来造句：理由+例子+细节。中体的内容绝对不可以跑题到圆圈之外。在心图里，圆心就是主题的焦点。

　　如果不先提出立场(position)答题也就没有文章的主题。如果不主动缩小主题的范围到可以论证的焦点(focus)，很有可能冒了扩大话题的风险，因此造成内容迷路离谱，结果难免遭受考官扣分。总而言之，引言中已经从焦点里提出两个论证的指标(signpost A+signpost B)作为Topic Sentence A+Topic Sentence B)，这就等于预表中体段落的去向。

　　中体承段A与转段B的指标句最好是写抽象而值得议论的意见‘opinion’(而不要写无需论证的事实‘fact’)。应用这个雕虫小技则比较容易从个人的知识和经验中举出specific理由+例子+细节(reasons+examples+details)。

　　行文回头到了结论，两头指标又二合为一，焦点还原，主题重申。全文绕个360度的圆圈逻辑：话题从何处开头也一定在原处结尾。

　　引言是话题的入口;结论是话题的出口。入口(申论主题)和出口(重申主题)，其实是同一道门。